I can't sleep.

I'm at Bell's place right now. And I can't sleep. I'm tired but I can't sleep. I think too much again while I'm not sleeping. And I tend to get depressed when thinking too much. Its been quite a while I don't think much. When I depressed, I'll have terrible headache which makes me wants to take high dose of panadol. Last night I've met someone whom reminds me of someone I don't want to remember. Now I have a little headache. Haha.

I keep thinking lots of things since 2 hours ago. My mum's face when she cried also pops in my mind.. I felt sad and even cried a bit.. after that I've been thinking how much I've been disappointing to her, and how much I hurt her. I've done lots of things and going to many places without telling her. Its because mum will say no.

I also remembered a news I've read few days ago which is saying that there's a girl who hung herself at her house because her boyfriend had left her. I said "stupid.. why should she die for a jerk..??" Then I paused a second. Yeah. It is STUPID of me at that time. There's more to life than having a boyfriend or relationship.

Another thing, this may sound ridiculous, but I always felt that when every time I felt so happy, something bad will happen. Something terrible. Which hurt my feeling so much. Its like a curse. A curse that makes me not being happy for ever. Hm. maybe I should change feng shui of my room. Lol..

I better get to sleep now. Recharge! Ganbatte to myself and God, please guide and protect me from all the evils and temptations. Nite!

What has happened today.

Today after my braces appointment, I went to gold shop (is this word exists?) wif my parents to pick up the gold necklace my sis asked my mum to fix. And mum speaking chinese to the owner and worker of the shop, and I can only understand a little of what they are saying. And after we went back home, my mother said that, the shop has cheated her. Last week, my mum said that she gave the necklace together with the pendant, which is a very nicely carved with dragon shape. (almost 12 years aged) The shop deny it, and said that they did not receive the pendant. After my mum told me about that, she sat and began to tear. What do you feel when you see ur mother's tear falling in front of you..?

My mum always has been a strong woman, and never in my life I've seen her like this. My mum said that she was very tired of everything. This year is the most tiring year for her. Dad, paddyfield, kelapa sawit, and my sis' wedding. She was relieved that my brother's wedding is postponed to next year, that she can have time to rest her physical and mental. I was still mad at my siblin
Eventhough my mother is a control freak, and super protective, but I'll learn to bear that. I know that everything she have done for us is actually for our own benifit. (although most of the time I cant agree wif her).

My feelings was deeply hurted when I saw my mum tear this morning. Shit btul tu kdai. Jaga nnt bisuk sa p jumpa tu org. (kalau dpt.)

What would you do if..

What would you do if you know your friend is juggling 2 men at a time? I don't know what to do or say. I love my friend, but in the same time I hate her for doing this. I truly despises people who cheats in their relationships. Tell me please what should I do.